Help me examine myself, O Christ,
and recognize my worst enemies,
the ones that are within me—
how deceptive they are,
false, misleading.
My ego always needs me to be best,
to be in control, to put me first:
have my way, seek my glory,
excuse my faults, protect
my reputation, always
be in the right.
If without your aid I judge myself,
I become distressed and say,
“Surely not I, Lord?”
No judgment,
that.
Lectionary Readings
Ps. 27; 147:12-20; 126; 102
Lam. 2:10-18
1 Cor. 10:14-17; 11:27-32
Mark 14:12-25
Selected Verses
Ps. 27:12
Do not give me up to the will of my adversaries,
for false witnesses have risen against me,
and they are breathing out violence.
for false witnesses have risen against me,
and they are breathing out violence.
Lam. 2:14
Your prophets have seen for you false and deceptive visions; they have not exposed your iniquity to restore your fortunes, but have seen oracles for you that are false and misleading.
1 Cor. 11:28, 31
Examine yourselves, and only then eat of the bread and drink of the cup. …But if we judged ourselves, we would not be judged.
Mark 14:19
[The disciples] began to be distressed and to say to [Jesus] one after another, “Surely, not I?”
The last three words left me puzzled. Could you help me?
ReplyDeleteNo judgment, that.
ReplyDeleteThanks for a chance to clarify what surely wasn’t clearly written. By “no judgment, that” I meant “That is no self-judgment.” Paul says we need to examine ourselves before we take communion (verse 28) but in 31 he says that if we judged ourselves, we would not be judged. Our egos are so defensive and powerful that they can cause us to deny the faults that an objective self examination would reveal. Like the disciples, we tend to think, “Surely not I, I am not guilty.”
ReplyDeleteIf I attempt self examin, I dearly need the Spirit to guide me, lest I gloss over what I have done to separate myself from God and the ways in which I have failed in my relations with others. If this leads me to conclude “Surely not I,“ that is self-acquittal, not self judgment.
Of course in an ultimate sense, we are not capable of accurate self-judgment—only God can judge us, and by God’s grace we are spared from retribution. But I do believe that God wants us to consider what we have done wrongly, and to ask forgiveness—not to deny our sin or rationalize it.